"I Tried to Obey"

When I was a girl with ribbons in my hair,

They taught me: Obey — and life will be fair.

Mother, Father, Aunt in their choir of trust,

Sang obedience as law, as life, as must.

And I — little heart, eager and small —

Believed, because I wanted to believe it all.

I bowed my head, I stitched my soul,

To every word, every heavy toll.

But suffering grew where peace was sown,

Tears became seeds, and I wept alone.

While I bent and broke to meet their call,

No hands reached out to catch my fall.

I tried so hard, I fought so blind,

Obedience carved scars deep in my mind.

Their ways were crooked, their paths were wrong —

I learned it bleeding, I learned it long.

So I rebelled, a storm unchained,

A woman unbowed, battle-stained.

Yet still, the hunger for home remained —

A heart, a harbor, to ease my pain.

I loved a stranger, placed my crown,

At his feet, laid my armor down.

Hoped his voice, unlike theirs, was kind —

Hoped his hands would heal my mind.

But obedience tasted bitter again,

Betrayal wore another man’s name.

And so I rose, fierce and free,

Breaking the chains they forged for me.

Now, I obey no master, no kin —

My law is the fire that burns within.

I don't know what I'll answer my God,

But I will say: I tried, oh Lord, I trod.

I obeyed the wrong, I loved the wrong,

Yet from their ruins, I built my song.

Judge me not by the scars I bear,

But by the battles that taught me care.

I tried to obey, and I tried to trust —

But their promises crumbled into dust.