Warning! It's total darkness.

I sit in the dark,

not the gentle kind—

the kind that grabs your throat

and doesn’t let go.

My head’s a grenade,

ticking with rage.

Pain pulses like it owns me.

And maybe it does.

I carry a heart

weighed down with commands,

shrugged shoulders,

cold stares,

a thousand tiny betrayals

stacked like bricks on my chest.

They say God listens.

He doesn’t.

I’ve screamed till my throat tore—

nothing.

Either He’s blind,

or He just walked away.

Same difference.

Don’t talk to me about family.

They never looked close enough

to know I was breaking.

Now I look away too.

I’ll love them—sure—

but I won’t speak it.

I’ve run out of faith.

My lover?

He’s busy admiring his reflection.

I sit at the window

like a dog waiting for scraps.

Only I didn’t bite anyone.

I didn’t sin.

I just existed—

and that was enough for punishment.

I don’t care anymore.

Everyone hates with sugar on their tongue.

I’ll hate with fire.

It’s the only language I was ever taught.

Life’s a loop.

Grey.

Lifeless.

A blunt knife that still cuts.

And no—

I won’t pretty it up.

It sucks.

That’s it.

It. Fucking. Sucks.